She left, came back, still loves OM, what do I do

[kirby]

So, I need to know what you all think? Should I only be doing the last resort technique? According to DR, I seem to be at that stage. We sleep in different rooms, no physical contact. But, my wife is a mutant or an alien and always has been. I don't think she quite fits the MLC/A in progress/Ready to leave label. As I said in yesterday's post, she is willing to talk, if I initiate it.

If I should be in the last resort phase, I should stop trying to speak her love language, shouldn't compliment her, shouldn't try to help her, shouldn't try any of the other techniques to improve our R, right? But if we are not really not at last resort, then I should be doing those things. So I'm a little confused. I've been playing it by ear mostly; doing a last resort while being causually kind (as I see it), but I've initiated a few R talks.

I'm thinking I need to learn more about boundaries. I think my wife is very confused right now. She lost herself somewhere, and needs to find herself again. She is setting up boundaries to help her define herself. That's why the laundry, the separate room, the secrecy, etc. It could be about the OM too, but that really is a side issue that will hurt her attempt to find herself as well as our M. If that analysis is true, than I really need to back off more and give her that space she needs. She can't work on us until she figures out herself.

It's been 2 months that she has been back. Seems like 2 years. I'm learning patience even though I don't want to.

So, what do you all think? How should I act?