That's why we call our MLC's the "awakenings" and MLCs for men, stupid, selfish cliches... a tad self serving....Okay, enough said. I am sexist when it's convenient....isn't everyone?
Here is some free legal advice, that also applies to DBing.... SHUT UP!!!
Stop the staring and analyzing and stop the TALKING!!!!!. She may be in her own version of MLC, and regardless, let's hope she sees that her issues are HERS and not yours. EXCEPT, K, you ARE responsible for some of this and the great news is that you see you have a role in all this. Own that, by DOING things differently. Please stop talking about it.
Talk is cheap and worse, it's a form of pressure. But loving her in HER language is just loving her.....Doing it, not talking or reading about loving her well. Just loving her well, better than before. I doubt that can be wrong. Does this make sense?
Not suggesting that you drop the DB at all. Just wishing you would do it for real and for more than a day or two without wanting immediate gratification back. In the "5 Love Languages" Chapman says that "
"Real love is not about getting what you want...." Give some thought to that whenever you wonder how effective your 4 hours of effort have "paid off" yet.....you ARE wanting it back, reciprocity style. Stop that please. It isn't loving, it's needy. ANd it is waaaayyyyyy tooooo soooooon AND it is hurting the chances of your M ever working.
Kirby, Please listen to this advice from 25yearsmic. She is very intelligent and she has posted similar things to me b/c I needed it. Its beginning to make sense and that was an obstecle that wasn't easy for me, but one I am still working on. I have a thick skull and realize that I didn't know squat on how to treat my W. Read that book that she suggested by Chapman. Rocco
