She left, came back, still loves OM, what do I do

[kirby]

Thanks for the reply J,
I'm still very angry and upset this morning, and I think my wife is too. I still can't get it that "they" can be so detached from reality. And, I'm still afraid she might leave - or worse - take the kids. In her mind, I'm sure she could justify it as the right thing to do. I think that with the anger she is feeling now, it's more likely she would do something like that. I want to ask for, demand, some kind of guarantee - not that she will not leave me, but that she would not take the kids. It wouldn't work. It would make her feel more trapped, less trusted, and she could break her word anyway. I guess if I really want a guarantee, I'd need to take legal action, and I'm not ready for that - I don't want that.

And if I say I'm sorry, and if I keep my fear to myself, aren't I being dishonest to her and myself? This is an issue that will have to be confronted - as TL said - I am the one that needs to confront it.

Even though you didn't remember the punch line, just thinking of this as a comic situation helps. To someone looking in from the outside, or if this were a comic play, I think it would be getting lots of laughs. The only problem is, who would believe people could screw themselves up so badly?

I joined the Navy months after we got married. Our MC thinks that the separations and stress of that period kept my W and me from getting to really know each other, that and our terrible communication skills. Were both you and your H in the military?

If you've read my earlier posts, you know I did cross the line and had my own A. When I started thinking that I could love this OP and make a life with her, I scared myself back to reality. The thought of hurting my W and kids, and the realization that the A was built on fantasy, made me end the A and severe all ties to the OW. I'm not saying I'm morally superior to my wife, our situations are different. But I wanted you to know about my A so you have all the information.

Today I keep asking myself why I'm fighting this battle. Why are you fighting for your M? It's been 18 months. Are we just too stubborn to admit we should move on? I'm sorry for pulling you into this. I should only say this about me. What will it cost me to do this?

That being said, and I think I need to say it out loud sometimes, I have to say how thankful I am to have found this place where I can express myself and have friends support me. I do think of you as my friends. thanks.