She left, came back, still loves OM, what do I do

[kirby]

Thanks for the input TL. I took the part about not letting the pain and grief come through and acting "as if" especially to heart. I think, my perception, is that I'm amazingly strong and not showing pain. She might disagree. I think I've been great about not being an anchor, ready to forget, or at least move on from, the past. Again, I'm not sure she would agree completely. I think part of the reason she might not agree is because not enough time has passed. She might see my actions, but not believe them yet. She might have enough guilt that she doesn't believe I could move on. Or not. Meanwhile, I don't like feeling hurt, jealuos, or angry, and I choose not to most of the time. I think she thinks (oops, getting myself in trouble here) that I've got a lot of pain and anger still. She doesn't know how much I've already put aside. The hurt that shows on my face now is mainly due to her pulling away from me now, not then.

Tonight, I was going to meet a friend after work for a beer. My W was supportive of this. I think it would have been good for me to have a little fun and give her some space. But, the lame-o bailed on me. But I didn't want to go straight home, so I did a little Christmas shopping, then came to a fre WiFi place to play a little on line. I can't get online and have much privacy at home, so this is nice.