She left, came back, still loves OM, what do I do

[kirby]

Thanks j,
I have the book, Fighting for your marriage. It's the text for our communications for couples class we are taking. My wife worked at the Univ. of Denver, and knows of the author, who she tells me is divorced. Oh well. Maybe he learned a lot from that experience. I like the book so far, and can see using the techniques in many relationships. My wife and I definitely didn't handle conflict well (lots of negative interpretations and withdrawal behavior).

I might look into the Wild at Heart book. Maybe I've got some issues I need to look into.

Thanks for motivating me a bit too. I am doing better, I think, on not getting hung up on how long it will take. It isn't hell, for me, yet, working on this. There are some positive side affects, and some positive in the whole situation. But I wish my W and I were both committed to this and battling more as a team against these problems.

In a way, I guess we are a team. She is here, not with the OM, she is going to counseling, she does talk to me, and she is even kind on occasion.

I appreciate you responding to my posts. I think it's good to have a female perspective.

I've read a little of your sitch, and if you don't mind, I'll read up some more on it. I wish you luck.