The book I was referring to, which may have been meant for someone else's post, but helped at the time, was called "Fighting FOR Your Marriage" and is premised on the assumption is that resolving conflict BADLY leads to D, although the amount of conflicts is not significant. Also, the book teaches the tools of happy healthy M's b/c they are not "magic" behaviors. Also the book talks about Preventing little irritants from turning into gaping wounds we ignored or picked at for years.
I Am reading the WIld Heart" which talks about men mostly, but brings in how WE women fit their/your world. The WHeart book is for me to try and understand the nature of my H's goals, jobs, MLC's, as a man, etc. THAT book is already making me uncomfortable b/c I keep judging it. "That's wrong", etc. Enlightening for sure.
In the WIld Heart book, it also talks about what WOMEN want down deep. Not the same as what men want in life. It says men see themselves and their life's success more in terms of goal achieving, than in Rs as women do. Says Men want to be on an adventure in their life, and they want to "rescue" a beautiful princess and bring her ALONG WITH THEM on the adventure...(THIS fits MY H's mlc and viewpoint, at this time, perfectly). The book also says we women want to be THE mission, and/ or to be rescued by the mank AND protected (total agreement from me on the protection part) and highly valued as their man's "beauty" (total agreement here on that too). So, don't tell my feminists friends, okay?
Last but not least K, don't get so down about how "long" it might take for you guys to "get there" and have the great M you know you can have. It isn't like you'll be in hell, digging ditches while you are "working" on it, you know?
I mean, the Journey is the Trip....sometimes it IS the "work" in a M that makes the highs sweeter, more appreciated....not just a cliche. I mean, getting thru hard times WITHOUT bitterness and or anger, but with real insight and forgiveness, and UNconditional love, wow....THAT's a legacy of M commitment....maybe a bigger, better one than a M that had never met a challenge. Those of us who dig down deep to find every resource within to stay and Love, and who get THAT back from our chosen one.....wow, THAT is the goal and the image I have to keep in mind, or I'll give up.....right now, I'm all motivated again.
later, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
