She left, came back, still loves OM, what do I do

[toughlover]

I think that's positive.

I didnt' want to refuse her favor, as she might find that insulting.

You done good. As long as she offers there's no harm in accepting. No one put a gun to her head and forced her to offer.

But I don't want her doing things that she doesn't want to do, just because she thinks its the right thing to do.

Well, anyone can do something because they feel like it; it takes maturity and character to WANT to do something BECAUSE it's the right thing to do.

But that's what it felt like before she left. We were JUST roommates in many ways. ...But it seems like a step backward,

Maybe. But think of it like on the way down you went through various stages and roomates was one of the last...so now that you're on the way back up, that's a sign of growth because you have to pass back through that stage.

That seems to be how it kinda works for me and my W.

or at least not a big enough or fast enough step forward.

It just doesn't happen on our schedule. We can do things to make it easier or more difficult, to make it as fast as possible or much slower, but it just doesn't happen on our timeline no matter what we do, think, or say.