She left, came back, still loves OM, what do I do

[toughlover]

What if there is something I should be doing right now and if I miss this chance, it'll be gone forever?

I wouldn't expend too much energy on this. I understand this fear. I had it, too. You'll be battling that for a while most likely, but it IS a battle you can win.

I eventually came to realize that it just really doesn't work like that. You and your wife interact daily so the real concern ought to be making every interaction a positive experience, and the best guarantee you have of that is doing all the DB stuff like continuing your detachment, PMA, etc.

We tend to think in terms of significant, memorable events. We remember Doug Flutie's hail mary pass when he was playing for Boston College but don't usually spend a lot of time thinking about all of the hours, days, weeks, months, and years he spent playing, practicing, etc.

And, looking back at mistakes we've made, we think, "If only I'd have done X/Y/Z at that time", etc.

I DO think there are moments we need to take advantage of, be fully engaged in, but, really, your W will be most impacted by what she sees you doing day in, day out...how you handle yourself being one of the biggest impacts you can have.

I think you're doing great and will keep doing better...it's a process that feeds itself...sort of like "you are what you eat"...the more constructively you act, the more constructive the process will become, etc.