I am not the stick in the mud here but Kirby's hesitation about the communication classes is warranted, at least in my experience. If only one of them wants to communicate, just like if only one of them wants to save the marriage, those classes can end up making the "alienated" partner feel even more at odds.
In the end Kriby, that word of caution (and mainly caution about getting your expectations up) I agree that it's a good thing if she goes. Just don't push and see what happens.
I am SO encouraged by your progress. Your recent "ah ha" moment about your W caring the marriage saving load for years was one of those watershed moments that, sadly, many people don't ever get to. They are so wrapped up in their anger, pain and sense of entitlement that they can't really ever turn their focus inward and begin the search where they can actually do some good.
I am so glad for you because now, no matter what, you will be able to give this thing your best effort, knowing you are not just trying to undo the past, but grab ahold of a previously shrouded future.
Once upon a time your W believed in that future. She saw all the crap your marriage was full of and believe that with effort, mostly, if not all on her part, it could be better. She fought, in her own way, and it never worked. Now, through some pretty traumatic circumstances, you've been given a second chance to respond to the light of your marriage.
This is your chance to be changed in a very positive way by the power of your union, both good and bad power.
