Quote: (kirby wrote:) I think I'm starting to see it. For the past how ever many years, while I thought the marriage was OK, but lacking, she thought the marriage was bad and was working hard to keep it together. She might not have done it effectively, I might have missed the signs, but she was doing the heavy lifting, she was carrying us. She's been doing it for years, without thanks. In fact, I denigrated her efforts.
Now it's my turn to do the heavy lifting, my turn to carry the weight for a while (a long while).
And, I can do it for me, because that's who I want to be. I can do it for her, as a friend, because I honestly care about her and want her to be happy. If she decides she is just too tired of this R and moves on, I'll keep carrying as much weight as possible. She's been doing it for years, probably at least 10. I can do it now.
Kirby
When I read this passage a serious lump rose to my throat, and I'm swallowing hard. Because, you're talking about me and my W here as well. She has done the "heavy lifting", just as yours did, for the same length of time
So it's my turn, also, to shoulder the weight, the weight of the friendship that is left, the parenting to be done, and to somehow help to pave the spiritual path for me, for her, for what we can both find in common, and for those we love....
Oh, man, if only I'd known this before.
But at least... I know it now. As you continue your journey, Kirby, know that there are fellow travellers not too far either side, who understand, who understand...
