Quote: I think, being honest with myself, I am hoping it's all a big misunderstanding and once I explain I'm sorry and I won't do it again, she'll say OK and commit to the marriage. Hard to break those thoughts.
It's good to be honest with yourself, and us. You're right. Right now, this is probably your motivation. Wait until it's not. Wait until you get a better handle on things and you can really express your feelings without any strings attached. You can expect ANYTHING from her right now.
Just do things, THIS thing because it's the right, compassionate, loving thing to do. Remember, one of the major parts of marriage is the "better or worse" part. Just because SHE forsake you in that, you don't have to return the favor. You can be the one who accepts the "worse" times and responds with the love and kindness that you committed to when you said "I do".
Those words were not conditional then...as in "I do, so long as she does first, and keeps doing it no matter what..."...is was I do, period.
You need to start walking the high road right now. You need to do that because you want to be a "high road" kinda guy, not because it will impress your wife.
How about trying to impress yourself.
Oh, and this was not directed at me, but I'll answer it anyway, lol.
Quote: So, where do you get all this good stuff? Not just from the DB book.
In this order (that I read, or started using them)...
1) Divorce Busting 2) This site (going on a year now) 3) The Five Love Languages 4) Getting the Love You Want 5) The Four Agreements 6) The Little Book of Letting Go 7) Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus 8) Passionate Marriage
Of course, my own experience plays a lot into what I talk about here, as does, I'm sure, TL's and everyone else's. There are also more books than that but that's all that comes to mind.
The bottom line is that if you are honest with yourself, with us, and with your W, that's a GREAT start. Reading a lot, at the specific point you're at right now can help a lot too. I would suggest Mars/Venus right away because it may help clear up some of the communication issues you surely have (I know I did).
Hope that helps...and sorry to answer TL's question.
