Hi PL, Glad you are back and you can stop by here anytime!
Quote: Fact is, you have already talked about it, your H has told you something, and you don't believe him. What did you do or say when he gave you his answer, and you didn't believe him? Did you say "I don't believe you. I am sorry, but I do not think you are telling me the truth." ? Because unless you said that, and he followed it with "What can I do or say to help you trust me, to reassure you?" then YOU are sweeping your truth under the rug. It is not just H sweeping the uncomfortable things under.
This is good, the next time he tells me something that I do not believe I am going to say just that. Although, I am pretty sure he will get all defensive and angry.
Quote: Start with "I" statements. Such as "I have not been truthful with you. I said X when the truth was Y. I'm sorry. I am making an effort to have a closer R with you, and I know honesty is an important ingredient of that." Keep having conversations like that, not expecting anything from H.
I will have to try this. Mind you I do not lie but I don't always say how I really feel for fear of H's reaction. I need to definitely get over that.
