Whenever you bring up this fact that he has never actually confirmed the affair or identity of OW, it astounds me.
I guess, in the abstract, the idea that "it's not about the OP" would apply, but then again, it seems pretty hard to recover from an injury you've never acknowledged.
I'm SURE he would rather just walk away from whatever happened with this chick, and I am also sure that there are some details that he THINKS (like my W does BTW) would make you leave him for sure. What they don't realize is that the ideas in our heads are probably just as dirty and damning as anything they could tell us, probably more so.
It would be foolish to suggest that KNOWING something to be true and just suspecting it are equal in the grand scheme of things but it sure would be nice if the WAS understood that in absence of a full and honest confession from them, we THINK they share certain character traits with the Devil anyway and we've processed this, accepted it, and in many cases, moved on, as you have.
Him telling you the whole truth would NOT likely result in you leaving him...but then again, he doesn't get that.
Of course, he COULD be a lying a$$hole...
In any event, I get that you want closure on all this. You want to know what happened, what's still happening, and where you two are going. I guess the only advice I have is to worry 90% about where you are going, 8% on what's happening now and 2% on what happened in the past. I think he will tell you, or eventually that 2% will become so distracting that you'll have to ask him to tell you, but give it some more time.
Things are good right now and you should foster that. Encourage things growing between you and let that help the rest.
