I was busy and gone over the holidays (went out of town for some snowboarding! Yeeeah!!!!). Anyhow.... I think since your husband is with you and both of you are working towards a partnership (your marriage!) you have a right to know what's going on and where he mentally is.
Also, because affairs typically flourish with secrecy. Exposing that may help eliminate it. If I were in your shoes I would feel the same way.
By the way, about the red lacy underware.... just throw out anything that isn't completely sexy and ONLY wear sexy underware all the time no matter who sees it. Just wearing it for yourself will help you feel more attractive .
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
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