What to expect...part three

[PositivelyListening]

Oh MamaBear, I am so sorry you are hurting right now. This is tough, I know. Since you are asking for advice, I have two things to offer.
1) Don't make any decisions or do anything substantially different over the holidays. Wait until that is past, and the kids are back in school, and life turns a little more back to normal, and then reevaluate

2) Don't let H tell you what to do about giving him a gift. Do what YOU want to do. However, is it possible that your H is feeling overwhelmed about how hard it is to make Christmas happen financially? Consider making him something, or giving him something small. Unless you don't want to. I do get the feeling that your H is mad and not communicating, but don't assume you always know what it is about. And your H (like many men) does not want to talk. You come to him with "it is hard for me when..." and he can't handle it right now, obviously. That is about you, and he is caught up in himself and his own worries right now. What is your H's primary LL? If it's Acts of Service, offer him a back rub and make him something. If it's Words of Affirmation, tell him how much you appreciate how hard he is working to support the family, and what a great dad he is. Etc. - speak to him in his LL.

My homework for you Mama, durng this holiday season (and maybe forever! but start here), is for you to focus only on what is working in your life. Look for the good and praise it. Attitude of gratitude. Ignore the rest, focus only on the positive, praise it outloud when you see it, write it down in a journal too, just for a week, and see what happens.

I send you many blessings Mama. If this was your last Christmas on Earth together, what would you want it to be like? Create that. You can do it Mama. You can do anything. Make this the best Christmas ever. Do not let anyone or anything stop you.

I am rooting for you Mama. There is no one that can make your life great but you. Take it on, leave your H in the dust for now if you have to, but set your sights and go for it. Stop waiting on his behavior to help you feel safe.