Mama
I have read your posts and just wanted to add something.

For the first time in over 20 years my Husband and I are finally able to talk about sex.

The one thing that I really paid no attention to throughout my marriage suddenly became so important because I was deprived of it.
We were not intimate for 2 years during his MLC.

It started out very slowly, little things, lots of compliments to build him up, a touch here and there.

I worked on "me". The way I dressed, taking care of myself, makeup, etc. He began to notice.

During your marriage, before the A, what did you use sex for?

A reward? Control? Love? Manipulation? I ask you this because my Husband asked me this question recently.
He asked because things are so different now and he wanted to know why I made these changes.

I told him that it was time to explore another part of my life, for him and for me.

So now we have gone from avoiding the white elephant in the room to the other extreme.
Maybe one day we will find a balance.

But I must say, sex is no longer a taboo subject.

It just makes me sad to think that there was so much we missed out on for fear of rejection by our Spouse, the one person who truly loved us and we couldn't see it.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.