Thanks for the thought - it made me feel better - yes, some peace would be nice to have.
Told W my five points this morning, saying they were all expressions of my love for her:
Paper - i would like a formal divorce paper before I see someone new, also good for legal cleanliness. W does not think this important - "an agreement between ourselves is just as good" - but I want no legal problems that might arise. Affair - told her i think she is having an affair, judging from her secret phone calls, and that this is the worst sort of violation I can imagine; that the vision of OM dead wasn't unpleasant to me Vacation - W wants to take vacations together for the kids sake, and hide the state of things from my parents (who she thinks would be hurt by knowing), who she wants to visit this summer; I told her that vacations together might be difficult for me Kindness - I told her my kindness had a limit somewhere, though I was not sure where this is, and that at some point it would stop. She said she wants me to be myself (I am basically a kind, patient person) even if I am not kind to her. Separation - I told her that a clean, never see you again separation was attractive to me, as then things are clear. She said that life isn't like that, that you have to go on suffering, that it is messy.
We then had an okay breakfast together - hate the idea of her no longer being there in the morning, even with things as they are -
Luke
ps. dinner with friends tonight, and scrabble. A mutual 12 year old friend of the kids coming over this afternoon, also to spend the night, with her cats.
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
