Another bomb announced last night, with both kids sleeping at friends, this time that she plans to move out over the next 6 months, to her own place. Also again that it was over between us and that she had made the wrong choice of mate and that one of her girlfriends said she had never seen two more different people than she and I.
I told her that she should do what she needed to do, that I was going to see a counselor on Wednesday and didn't she want to come with (no she didn't - what use would a counselor be as there was no point in fixing our M), that I really wanted to be the man she needs, that wouldnt' she tell me what she needs (no, she wouldn't).
I will tell her when she wakes up (it is 4 am now) that I need papers signed before I will see anyone else, that I believe she is having an affair, which hurts me and makes me mad and physically sick when I hear her talking on the phone with this slime, that OM is a s--t for takign her from me, that we won't be able to spend vacations together anymore (she wanted to have as normal a life together for the kids sake, but this has limits when you are D!), that my kindness has an end somewhere and I won't turn the other cheek anymore at some point, and that I am playing with the idea of complete physical separation, never seeing her again, this to produce complete certainty for me.
At some point I don't want this halfway stuff anymore (can you imagine her working in the garden here when we are D? she wants to keep the house).
Protecting the children was the only thing we solidly agreed on.
I may finally see a friend and talk about this (he has marital troubles of his own and talked to me about his; I have never talked to a friend here about my problems). Not sure whether that then sanctions the end.
anyway, lousy news, please think of me,
not so lucky, Luke (unable to sleep, in spite of a sleeping pill)
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
