Thanks for your encouraging words – I had a good, cheery evening last night as a result. I am sorry to hear that you are in the same situation.
The whole thing boils down to two questions now – how can I tell that progress is being made and how long am I willing to wait? Her tone has softened of late (though not this morning, when she was critical of everything, a result of a lousy night (we had a windstorm) and maybe from feeling hemmed in again by yesterday’s declaration that I still wanted to work on us). If all I ever get to is a softer tone - which I don’t take as an expression of love - then that is just not enough. We need to get to some physical contact again.
Second, it has been three years of not sleeping together or touching (maybe a kiss on the cheek, at most, every 3 or 4 months), verily a long time. At some point, I will reach my limit. New York state law says that one year of abandonment is enough grounds for divorce, which topped with a probable ongoing EA, is not happy camping for me.
Anyway, I will hang in there, though given all the discouragement of the annual bombs, I am loathe to spend money on fancy dates (which she might not like anyway). The ideas of flying to Ireland or overnighting on a yacht in Stockholm or even simply a romantic dinner for just the two of us will have to wait… at least we have a bunch of good videos to watch here again.
Are things changing for the better with you?
Best regards from another passenger in the boat of difficult marriage –
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
