I'd like to add a few more things - so it seems she has just given up on us - calmly accepted that - the end.
That puts me in an awkward position - since I can't accept seeing a new person, then a D is on my instigation and my fault. If only I could 'open up' like she wants, then things would be okay...
She also said we would be friends had we not been married ...
Not sure where to go from here if the counseling doesn't work. It finally is her opinion ('our marriage is dead and can never work') that needs to change, but my work to make that happen, not sure how: kindness doesnt' work, leaving her alone doesn't work, taking her to exotic places (Japan) doesn't work, running the marathon probably won't (I expect that she won't like the impact minimizing method I am using, where you run 3 minutes, then walk 1, repeating for 26 miles, as it is not 'strong' enough). What is left? She seems to want a more assertive, alpha male type person - should I take testerone and ride a motorcycle?
Not the best day -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
