Thanks for your concern and advice. Yes, I was having a particularly bad time a few days ago and so was really gladdened by your posts -.
I have identified a number of possible counselors, mostly in a nearby town (20 miles away; Sweden is sparsely populated), but also one here in town. Here are some questions I thought to ask them:
o do you believe in marriage? (Swedes try to make divorce painless, fair, and socially normal - "part of life") o how do you treat marriage problems? (I am an engineer and would like a concrete answer) o name a study or two about treating relationship problems that might be relevant (does this person know their stuff?) o do you need/want both of us there? o can this be done by phone?
Is there something else you can think of to ask?
A difficult thing just now is to continue DBing. Sure, I can be pleasant enough and have lunch/talk with W, but the recently dropped bomb sure undermines my motivation. Just last night I dreamed that W was holding another man's hand with me there, I said that I would not accept that, W said she didn't care and that this corner of the bookstore was really private and that they could "really enjoy themselves". I stormed out and woke up - . Hopefully this was only my subconscious working out stress...
Anyway, I need to bite the bullet and call these counselors (am somewhat reluctant, pride, privacy, etc.). If W asks where I am going, I will say it is private.
Partly blue sky here, low medium gray clouds scudding over the lake, grass still green,
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
