Wow, thank you for your long post. That did make things a lot clearer.
The perverse part of this situation is that she is basically treating me nicely - friendly banter during our workday (we both work at home a lot), suggested we go to see a movie as a family tomorrow night, and visit my parents next summer. Part of me likes this - it certainly is better than an uncommunicative, cold war, which we've had before - but it is a lie, a mask over something rotten. I don't want to live a lie, and it doesn't seem fair to my parents and other people either.
Maybe the only solution is counseling, ideally for both of us. It seems to me that the core of our marriage needs fixing, not the topcoat, and that before we go through that, nothing can really improve.
Perhaps my 3 year celibacy will grind the OM down and OM will b---r off - here's hoping... I had given myself until Valentine's day next year to get this fixed (she left our bed on Feb. 6, 2004), but it is amazing how we hold on and delay.
Thanks a bunch again,
LL
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
