All I Want for Christmas...

[toughlover]

Been away for a while. Had some good alone time with the W over the holidays. A couple times where we had the house to ourselves for 3-4 days while the kids visited grandparents.

We did a lot of nice things for each other and had a good time christmas shopping together. Enjoyed wrapping presents together....also had a good time unwrapping presents together

In fact, there was almost as much unwrapping going on as there was wrapping

Interestingly, though, just because things get really good doesn't mean the old bad stuff just disappears. It rears its ugly head every now and then and it's good to know how to handle it. Like I said, the good stuff doesn't eliminate the bad stuff but it makes the bad stuff look smaller and less important, and also provides some serious motivation to keep to the high road.

We've made so much progress that we don't want to do anything to mess it up. We've just had to pay such a high price to get here, had some really tough spots, that it's just too important to blow.

Six months ago this marriage was dead in the water. Right now it's better than it's ever been. Considering our sitch and our past, I don't think it could be better right now.

It ain't perfect but nothing is. However, all things considered, looking at the effects on my children, on our family, and even if I don't factor in my belief that divorce is as wrong as adultery is, I don't think things would be better if we had divorced and gotten married again. Sure, the sex and affection part might be easier, but everything else would be more difficult, particularly for the kids.

There's way more to love and marriage than I ever really knew, even though I always knew it was as much or more about commitment and choices than about feelings. It's about all that stuff, of course, but those things change so much over time and I think people often give up before they've taken the time to find all that out.

It definitely takes two, but if those two are willing, then things can get to be better and sweeter than those two thought possible. It's a shame that there's often such a high price to pay to get there.