Is there any term of endearment she might be comfortable with?
I'd try not to take it too personally. I remember family members being put-off when my daughter was a little girl and didn't like to be touched. They'd want to hug her and I'd have to explain she didn't like hugs, but a handshake would be fine. I'd have to explain that it wasn't a personal thing, it's just the way she is.
So, just like my daughter could do handshakes, maybe there's an endearment your wife might feel comfortable with. (By the way, over the years my daughter has become more comfortable with hugs. Your wife may in time become comfortable with endearments too. That might be something to explore together...).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
