Happy New Year to all. I rang it in by myself - DS15 was spending the night with a friend, DD9 was spending the night too, DD2 was in bed and DH went to bed (his tendonitis is worse, not better and he had trouble sleeping every single night). We ML once during the hoidays and were interrupted by 9yr old girls and the whole deal aggravated his hip and then the dishwasher crapped out - H went out and purchased a new one and the installation also aggravated the hip. So.... H went to bed early at about 11 on New Years and me and baby to be watched the ball drop. I'm alone so little in life that it was really very nice.
I kept thinking about trying to address this whole thing with H in the spirit of New Year/new us. I didn't because I recognized that perhaps in his own way he is trying - he really did a lot for the family over the holiday, he didn't even consider fighting with the dishwasher, just put in a new one knowing that neither of us had time to take off work to mess with a repair guy for a dishwasher that was on it's way out anyway, he scheduled a two day "couples massage" class in March and he scheduled a couples weekend for us in February. These are all ways that he shows me how he feels. It frustrates the crap out of me but there it is. Sometimes I guess I am just the quintessential female - never satisfied, always grasping , expecting my man to provide more of the emotional support than he is capable of/wants to. The other thing is that I finally recognized that my H seems to be going through some kind of personal thing - the fact that our marriage suffers from an overall shortage of sex has a lot to do with how H copes with life, he has been in shut down mode for a while and I just never seem to recognize it except in retrospect or I do recognize it and think "Yes, but..." What is the answer to all of this? I have no idea but I have acheived a little personal peace about the subject.
