here, I stop by to see who's left on the board and how everybody is doing, and I see you've gotten yourself mired in a ton of $hit. Sorry to hear it. I have to pipe in though, because from an outsider's point of view, well how does that saying go...your problem is obvious. Girl, you need to share your thoughts with H. He's no more a mind reader than you are, and the longer you keep it all in the greater the distance between you will become. I'm sure he feels the distance, and if he's at all like me, that distance does nothing for getting his motor running. If you wait for him to jump in and read your mind and then do "the right thing", you may be waiting all the way to the end of your marriage. Don't do it. Your needs are going unmet, and you know what? It is your responsibility to get them met, not his. If you are feeling unfulfilled (and I know you are, like duh!), it is up to you and only you to tell him that your needs are not being met and to discuss with him how to fix it. It ain't gonna fix itself. I've been there and done exactly what you are doing several times over, and it doesn't work. The only thing that does work is to talk to each other. And I mean intimate sharing of your feelings, your needs, wants and desires. He knows you're hurting, but I'm sure he hasn't a clue as to why. Heck, he may have backed off to give you more space because he senses your anger/resentment but doesn't know where it is coming from. How can he? He can't read your mind.
See, this has been a hard lesson for me, Mr Incommunicado, too. If I haven't learned anything else since coming to this board, I've learned that good communication is absolutely essential to a healthy relationship. Without it, you get stuck in the mud just like you've found yourself here. Sad part is, I think that intimate communication is probably about the hardest thing for me to do, even when I know it gets results. When I get stuck like you are, I have to keep reminding myself that MrsGGB is not a mind reader, and there's no way she can really know what is going on in my mind if I don't lay it out for her in excruciating detail.
I think you know this in the back of your mind too. Please don't keep on this path of waiting for him to have a revelation, you'll only hurt your R by continuing on this path. Time to suck it up and just tell him, ya know H, we haven't had sex in 8 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours and 22 minutes and I am missing it big time. I've been quietly hoping that you'd take the lead and initiate but it hasn't happened. You not initiating makes me feel unwanted, unloved and rejected. It makes me feel like you've lost interest in me, and well that makes me feel very lonely. Can we work together to get a more satisfying relationship etc... K, you owe it to yourself to do this. Do as a Christmas present to yourself. Yeah, I know, it doesn't feel right etc. Yau are right, it is awkward as all heck, but it does get easier the more you do it.
GGB, just pokin' his nose in where it don't belong again. (hey, better my nose than somethin else )
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