Sometimes it helps me to defocus on the daily stuff and focus on the map a little. Stepping back and gaining perspective is a good thing.
Lil - interesting about "anger" being the unhealthy side of the "2". My approach to anger has always been deny, deny and submerge my anger. Most people perceive me as "Miss Merry Sunshine". Of course, the ones you live with, your H, your children etc...are rarely fooled by that for long. So...I'm sure my H is aware of my anger no matter how submerged and denied. I am certain that he knows it is there now although I have shown it toward him in almost no way at all. I have shown more toward the kids in response to their behaviors than to H. He was absolutely nasty last night - his holiday blues are still there along with the tendonitis in his hip. So, he's in no mood to deal with the anger that he feels seething under my exterior. I suppose that is what is maintaining the distance (not sexual distance but general distance). H is mostly only angry with me when he has already sensed my anger. I guess the truth is that timely, healthy expression of my thoughts, angry or otherwise is where my work needs to be.
I'm still seeing how long it takes for H to mention sex or take any action about it. I plan to wait at least through Christmas and once that has come and gone, address it. I figure it is kind of an experiment to see how long he really will go and allowing the time to go by will let his tendonitis heal and hopefully his holiday depression to ease. Then the excuses will have faded. What can he say then?
