Thanks for the reply. Sorry that work got in the way of the internet. I always value your words because there is a lot about your H that is similar to mind - at least the values, relgious background and stuff...
I am on the fence about this:
_________________________________________________________ Well I think the first thing you need to do is to get real with yourself in order to lessen the resentment that is piling up with every passing day. What I mean is that *you* are the one who has changed here, not your H. In the beginning you were totally fine with being the one who sustained the sexual R and now want H to change. He is understandably confused and a little lost with having a spouse verbally and nonverbally (which we all know is worse..having someone with every cell in their being silently shout "be different") want him to change. He's digging in his heels and hanging on to the status quo for dear life. __________________________________________________________
I never changed although perhaps in his eyes I did. He did (in the beginning) actually initiate sexual activity, had ideas etc... But I definately have turned the tables on him lately because I don't come to him for silly little kisses than go nowhere, I don't sleep naked, I don't cuddle up at night, I don't verbally or physically intiate sex and I haven't for two months.
I do agree with what you say about it now having been to long and he "can't" initiate. I imagine that must be how it feels to him. How I am imaged in his mind as this powerful figure that you don't want to prod unless you are ready to take the consequences (dishing out some sex in a less than comfortable situation)I don't know. It would be so easy to keep me happy and I have told him how time and time again.
I wish he would agree to a schedule. ANY schedule would be a start. He gets MAD if I bring up the subject.
At this point I have trouble initiating as well because it feels a little like prostituting myself. If I open my legs and heart to someone that has been so cavalier with it as H has what does that say about me and my level of desperation?
