Quote: My acceptance of him, just as he was at that time I think was KEY. Some may say I gave up on what I wanted....well, I don't think I did. Was it SEX I really wanted or a happy/loving marriage? What I really wanted was a happy/loving marriage, but I kept focusing too much on the sex part (even though I didn't think I was).
This is kind of what happened to me, too. I figured out that sex for me has virtually always been about the other person making me feel good about myself. It wasn't so much the lack of sex as what the lack of sex MEANT. I took it very personally, and he didn't mean it personally. The blowup I had in the C's office seemed to kick-start things. Now I realize that he does love me and his reasons for being reticent about sex do not have anything to do with me. As I've backed off-- sincerely, not in the sense of "settling"-- he has become more affectionate, and I'm happy with where things are.
Karen, would your husband truly have the balls to say that someone who wears a size 2 is too fat??? Tell me that is not possible! (I know you're preggy now, but before you were preggy.)
I think his aversion to sex is NOT about you. But you may need to blow up before you can get things out in the open.
Look through the toolkit I sent you and see if anything in there helps. The core transformation stuff might be good in the current sitch.
