I appreciate the comments. Gel - I do know that if I do indulge my black mood that I won't be getting anywhere with H but then it seems that I don't no matter what. If I am happy, bubbly - no sex. If I am flirty and sexual - no sex. If I am angry and frustrated - no sex. If I bring no sex up - no sex. The only thing I get is rewarded with a happy, friendly H if I am happy and friendly. Well, I guess I'm just not feeling it right now. It is so exceedingly rare that I have any kind of "don't talk to me" body language that I am genuinely suprised that one bad day adds up to that for H. I honestly feel a little like it is an excuse.
Journey - yeah, I'm not one for standoffs either. I am feeling this way right now but in my heart, I know I will cave long before he will. I will either cave in word or in deed. This will happen regardless of the fact that he doesn't even know we are having a stand off.
It is true that a schedule would simplify a lot. H has outright rejected a schedule more times than I can count. In fact, he refuses to negotiate about sex. It "ruins the spontaneity" - I gave him all the logical arguments etc... In this area it is H who is the romantic - not me. H likes privacy, scenery, candles, no quickies, no schedules etc... I like all that but I can take it or leave it when it comes down to a choice - no frills sex or no sex. I'll pick no frills every time.
Most of the time the knightly behaviors of helping the house run, bringing home the bacon, being a good Dad is something I can appreciate and can keep in my mind in a positive way. After 2 months with no sex, a grumpy/moody H, and no end in sight to any of this I am having a harder time with it.
I will work my way out of this funk or H and I will wind up in a knock down drag out argument. Maybe we need one. Maybe he will tell me the truth about whatever the h*ll is going on in our M. Maybe he will finally say - no I don't love you or you are too fat or I'm having an affair or I obsessively view porn or whatever. I have no idea where things are heading but I'm too tired to have the excuse trotted out "Well, you have been too tired and in too bad of a mood to have sex with for two months." - baloney, I have had many good days and good moods, days when I'm not so tired etc...
