I sometimes forget that we are utterly alone in this world, in our view of how things "are" and in our life. Each of us is alone, married or single, whether were a parent or not we each row our boat alone. If we are lucky, we have a faith that tells us that God is with us....
Yeah - I'm still melancholy. I'm still angry/melancholy with tidbits of "I don't care" thrown in. H came in from a late work meeting while I was reaming out DS14 and DD9 for their constant fighting and arguing and disrespect for one another. After that H put the little girls to bed and I talked more with DS about his issues with DD. Afterwards, I read a magazine on the couch. H absolutely stayed as far away from everything as he could - which was fine but he also didn't make an attempt to join in and be with us after the discussion was over or with me at any point. I left him a message to say that he seemed preoccupied or angry last night and I hoped he could find a moment to himself this week to reacharge. I got back an angry email letting me know that he was not mad, that it was I who had "made it clear" that I didn't want to be bothered etc... I explained (yet again) that it might seem that way but that I always want to talk and I always want to be touched even when angry or frustrated or tired. He also let me know that he was very busy today and that my "worry that he was angry" was basically an intrusion that would put him further behind and stress him further.
Well, two months with no sex, how about let's go for three......
