Things are still pretty good

[LoginName]

Wow, GH, is that what it looks like, loving detachment? How does it feel? Does it boil down to unconditional love, where you feel bad about the other's pain, wish that it would stop, but don't take ownership for fixing it or let it give you pain? And non-judgemental. You still love the person even if you think their actions are wrong or mistaken?

How to deal with your own pain? Do you, and all DBer's, learn to push the pain away, stop thinking about it? Does it have to be dealt with eventually to keep resentment from building up or to avoid an explosion?

Last night, for the first time in a long time, the OM was brought up between me and my W. She said she hasn't talked to him. It didn't make me feel much better. Like you've told me, it's not about him really. I was sad that the tears W cried for him seemed to be tears of love, while the tears she cries for me seem to be tears of guilt, but I moved on. I know it must be very hard for her. I wish I could make it better for her, but I can't.

You handled things amazingly well it seems to me. Knowing someone has done it shows that it's possible for everyone to do it. Thanks for the inspiration and I wish you continued movement toward real intimacy and happiness.