Things are still good. I think I can safely say that my marriage is back to "normal", that is, we are dealing with a lot of the usual married for 10 years stuff, and all our particular demons but other than that, the issues of last year, namely the affair/almost end of our marriage is past.
As usual, I am most afraid that we will just fall back into that unsatisfying (for either of us) routine but I agree with a lot of folks around here who believe that by virtue of OUR changes, that is relatively impossible, so long as we stick to our guns, we'll be fine.
My W has finally returned to the gym, or the scene of the crime as it were (her affair started there). She's been every now and then but she's not gotten back to her routine and I think it's been a huge drain on her. She really loves to be in shape and she's been slipping (her words, not mine) lately. I've encouraged her to get back into it and I think that's helped. The idea that the OM was a trainer there has been a pink elephant in our lives. It's the unspoken thing. I think she was worried that I would think she was seeing him again if she went back. I was not worried about that but I think it took much encouragement and positive vibe from me to convey that. I have also been direct about asking questions about him/the gym/my feelings/her feelings and she's answered me so it's all good.
So, she's getting back in shape, I'm in the best shape of my adult life (sad it took a 2x4 from her to get me motivated again...now I am doing it 100% for me...for real this time) and I feel great. I must look great too because twice in the last week she's initiated ML, one time she actually jumped me in bed, something she's never done before, all the while complimenting me on how great I look.
We are also talking much more these days. We are fighting more, and then getting past it, which was a BIG problem before. We would never fight and thus, never really get past any of our issues.
I can honestly say that while I still have some tiny part of me that is fearful of what I may not know (maybe there are still phone calls from OM, etc) I think things have never been better between W and I. Would I be shocked if it were all an illusion? Nope, I know better than that now, but I also know that contrary to how I was before all this, I am doing my part to keep things vibrant, positive and moving forward. I surely was NOT doing any of that before...and now she is doing the same, albeit to a lesser extent IMHO.
Hey, it's the stepping, and the direction that's important, not how big the steps are.
For today, indeed, things are still pretty ok, even great.
