Thanks for that Sven. I love your restatement of what Ali said.
Quote: With needs, you can become complacent, accepting what you have because you need it - like air. With wants, you shift your paradigm to things you want to actively go after! This perhaps is the trick to piecing - moving to a place of WANT, and what you want from the M/R. So as you put things back together, you hopefully start to communicate the things you want from yourself and your spouse - and you make a plan, together to get there.
Wonderful. Surely no better words to do this by exist.