Good for you. I think from time to time you need a break - you need to examine your intentions - modify behaviours that are not getting you intended results, etc.
Regarding the rut - I hear you bro! When we were on our family vacation this summer (about three months after I moved home) we had a great time - got really close and I thought we were on the right path. As fall rolled around, we bought our new house and the stress of the holidays approached - I sensed a rut.
So I too, took a break from the board, hunkered down my DR/DB efforts, re-established goals, and GAL'd. It took a couple of weeks, but slowly the W and I started really falling back in love. This culminated with an admission by HER of me being "her true love", at dinner with MY family. This was a huge breakthrough.
What I noticed in the rut was exactly what you are noticing - as we piece, we start to "expect" things which might lead to disappointment - which shows on our face and in our moods. I know I jettisoned that (though it took a 2x4 to the head back in say November) and instead reminded myself to give love unconditionally and lose the expectations. A tough feat, but I think worth the effort. I think our S's can sense the feeling of let down and can become bitter. In their mind, they are giving all they can but it never seems enough. I know this was a root issue with my W way back when.
Time and patience and focus on yourself - the W will notice. Move back to what you were doing pre-reconciliation and stay there. At the same time, take time to really listen and understand her - I know as busy as we are, I almost have to force myself to slow down, listen and understand - NOT FIX - but understand. If you haven't read "For Men Only" by Feldhahn, please do - some great stuff in there, and it can be read in about a night.
Good luck GH - take the time for yourself. You'll be fine.
Happy New Year.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
