Thanks for the story of slippage - reminds us all in piecing to keep postitive change moving in a forward motion. Good stuff and nicely handled.
One thing I wanted to chime in on is that I too am perhaps too critical and might take too much of the blame as it pertains to our spiral into the bowels of hell - at least that is what others say to me as well. Reality of it is to me, what matters is that *I* take ownership of my failings and work to fix them.
One thing that I took away from Michelle's work is that ONE person can repair a M - to not lose hope. This is where what I think Michelle is saying is "become a leader". I was sharing this with some dudes off the board. Good leaders have followers. At one point in our R, our WAS's were our biggest fans - our followers. When we started to fail as a leader...well we know what happened.
For us that DR/DB, we renew our leadership - and with that, hopefully we have a spouse that will follow - sometimes out of mere curiousity at first, but also because they see us becoming leaders again. When we try and MANAGE them, ourselves, etc. it is that much less attractive and threatening.
So, I guess what I see is me leading - and my W following or right beside me. And as we lead together, my W's fears and insecurities become right out there, able to be worked on slowly and comfortably, without threat. The change happens subltly and you have to remind yourself that even now, there are baby steps. I've seen this with my WAW anyway.
In any event, thanks for continuing to share - have yourself a great holiday - here's to more goodness in 2007!
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
