GH
I agree with most everything you have posted.
BUT I also believe that you can not take all of the burden upon yourself.

Your wife has a responsibility to also make changes for the preservation of the relationship and is also accountable for her quick tongue.

Spending your life walking on eggshells and constantly being on your best behavior is not gratifying either. It gets old and you will become weary.

You have made so much progress and are so positive, I just wish you would be a little easier on yourself at times.

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.