Sorry about the tough weekend. Here are a few thoughts:
(1) Definitely keep up the self-improvements for YOU.
(2) Change what your kids eat on the weekends. If it isn't good for you, it certainly isn't good for them.
(3) Your W's hypercriticalness is NOT due to the gain of a pound or a month of no jogging or an extra slice of pizza. She is taking something out on you and/or projecting onto you. So, my guess is that some or all of these things are going on:
-- She heard from OM or is thinking about him and feels like crap. She doesn't like feeling like crap so she becomes critical of you.
-- She feels like crap for letting herself go since reconciling.
-- And this is a big one that she made pretty clear: She is sick of managing your feelings. (SHE needs to stop this one.)
-- Also, she does not feel heard. Whether this is because you aren't listening or she isn't speaking up doesn't much matter. The TWO OF YOU need to figure out a way to change this.
-- The problems aren't going to go away on their own. But they aren't going to go away with just your efforts. To change things, you need to work together to create a new problem.
-- Apologize directly for your reaction. Tell her you want her input and you want her to feel heard. Come up with 3 things to ask for her help on figuring out what the TWO of you can do to make things different. For instance, (1) stop managing each other's feelings, (2) make sure her voice gets heard clearly earlier, (3) finding guilt free time for you so that you can continue to be the new improved H.
