Oh, Mama, I KNOW I have changed in many ways but this thing, this anger of mine, it's largely what was responsible for my W straying (at least MY part of it anyway) and I hate that I have gotten so confortable with things that I let myself slip back into that mode.
It's not just once incident. It's a behavioral pattern I have been in for years and was only out of for a short time while in the thick of this whole affair business.
Let this be a STRONG warning to everyone. If you let your guard down, $hit can go back to bad REALLY quickly.
I know this was just a temporary set-back but it was a HUGE wakeup call for me. I really did think I was not acting differently. I thought my anger was under control. I said that over and over again last night to her. It made her cry because she sees something SO different that I see.
Her perception may not be 100% correct but neither is mine...and sadly, mine is much less correct than hers.
I got lazy, I really did. I thought things were just going to take care of themselves again. I thought I didn't have to try anymore. No matter what lip-service I paid to my efforts, I really did slack off and I WILL NOT DO THAT AGAIN!
