I agree with Mattie, you are human and that is why you are having these thoughts. I know that if I get to where you are I will have these crazy thoughts at times as well, i can guarantee it. But you did the right thing you kept them in your head. Better yet try not to have them at all, do the thought stopping thing.
It would be unrealistic to believe that he will never have thoughts of her and also unrealistic to believe that he will act on these thoughts.
I had jealous tendencies in my M and is part of the reason why I am where I am. I think I can toss that now as H is having an EA and I have accepted it and know that it must run its course. The point I'm trying to make is that when you are not trusted (in any way) it doesn't feel too good. I didn't realize this until (in the beginning of my sitch) I asked my H to have faith in me that all I wanted was for him to be happy. He told me that he didn't know if he trusted that in me,wow that hurt. It was time to stand in his shoes. I didn't like it.
I don't know your whole sitch but obviously you are working things out. You did the right thing by not saying anything, come here and vent. You have to both trust each other, showing doubt will only weaken your bond. I have to constantly remind myself of this and it helps to post here, this site is great!
Take Care
M 14 years, tog 20. 3 kids D-13, S-11, S-9. Bomb dropped June 1/02, sep Aug 11, living with OW since Oct/02.
