Well, I see the has-he-had-contact-with-the-OW virus is really going around the board these days. I wonder if there's a shot we can take for that .
You're not being an idiot for having those thoughts -- just human. The fact that you didn't say anything to you H is a testiment as to how far you've come in the last year.
You know what, Pat, he may very well have thought about her for an instant in this circumstance. It would probably only be because he knows somebody who lives in the path of a hurricane. It would be like when any other out-of-the-ordinary situation occurs and our neighbor's sister's brother's dog-walker was involved -- gee, we feel a little kick that we are somehow "involved" because of that relationship. Get my meaning here? Yeah, he may have thought about the fact that someone he knows/knew lives in that area, but that doesn't mean he would want to contact her. My feeling is that even an "innocent" thought like that would probably make your H feel bad and he definately wouldn't want to exacerbate it by actually contacting her.
If you've read my posts, you know that my H sent a final email to the EA -- with my full knowledge and blessing. It is also my understanding that her B'day is/was this week. He says he doesn't remember the exact date (probably true). So, I have wondered on more than one occasion if she contacted him after receiving his email, or if he contacted her to wish her a happy b'day. I haven't asked. I fully expect him to keep his promises to me about that. If I find out he hasn't, it will be over. That is the decision I've made about my sitch. I won't live with a man who has no integrity and no honor. I won't live with a man who would continue to show such for disrespect me and who would continue to hurt me. This is his last chance. I haven't said that to him, but he knows.
And I know that as each day goes by that he keeps his promises to me, to himself, to his kids, and to God his honor and his integrity are being restored. He is starting to feel better about himself -- ever so slightly, but I can see the difference in his eyes and in his mannerisms. He still continues to beat himself up. Just last night we were talking about how he is always putting himself down. He just can't find anything positive to say/think about himself.
This board is still a wonderful place to come to vent some of our crazy thoughts!
Here's a crazy thought for you -- maybe the hurricane will blow the OW into orbit!!! Just wishful thinking for all the OW's of the world.
.
