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[NikB]

Hi sadkimby, hope that it goes well today (it's today right?).

I wish you could talk to my H - I know he had the "big talk" with his friend recently too. Granted again it was a different situation, but I think the talks will probably be quite similar. We haven't talked a lot about it but he did tell me a little right after it happened. The first conversation he told her that they needed to "stop hanging around each other so much" which didn't really get the point across.

The second conversation he told her that he's very confused, needs time to think, and he can't do it with her so much a part of his life. He told her they could talk at work but not be alone together or hang out after work or on weekends (I know he hasn't stuck to this one 100% because big groups of them go to happy hour after work, but apparently they aren't hanging out 'together' at those anymore). He also told her that they wouldn't be skiing together so she needs to find other people to go with.

I think she also knew he planned to separate even before I did - he told her he needed BOTH of us out of his life so he could think straight. Anyway he said it was very hard but he feels it was the right thing to do. He also felt he had to be THAT clear with her about what he was doing and why. In the past when he's pulled away from her it hasn't worked very well so this time he was very cut and dried and careful not to send mixed messages.

Not meaning to hijack your thread, just hoped that some of that might be useful for you. Good luck.