Sadkimby, I think you already have your answer. You said you plan to stay with your H. My advice is dump the friend, he can only be trouble. Keeping him around is like an alcololic keeping a bottle around but isn't planning to drink it. Dump him and commit to making your M wonderful again. If you are tempted, then there is something missing from your M, focus on that. What were you guys doing when times were good? Spending time together, communicating, dating? Think about those things. When do you feel closest to your H? Try and repeat those times. I know friends seem like the perfect solution but they are just as big a fantasy R as the person you don't really know. A friend spends certain amounts of time with you and they are REALLY with you. There aren't any bills, kids, in-laws, chores etc. to stand in the way of your R. That changes whenever we become involved with someone else, friend or not. You say you were taken by surprise, well now you are no longer surprised. You have a choice to make and I think by coming to this site you know the choice you need to make. Do it for yourself and your family. Dump the friend...end the friendship. "Just friends" won't work.
