OK Not a very creative title for a post but that is what I need.
I am back here becasue I put myself into a sitch that I don't know now what to do about it. I was here about two years ago with an H that had an affair so I KNOW the pain that it causes. Things between us have been going great so I don't know where this came from, blind sided me to say the least. This weekend I went out with some friends and H did not come along because he took our D 11 to a hockey game. One of my close friends, a guy, picked me up on the way to diner and drinks to celebrate a birthday of another friend in the group. All was good, even my SIL met us while we were out at the bar, this was actually nothing unsual for her to meet up with us. At the end of the night was when things started to get "hairy" for lack of a better description. On the way home he desided to stop at another bar but before we went in he told me that he is in love with me and has been for well over ten years, almost as long as I have been married.
I have to give a little bit of the back story. We have been friends since high school, I dated one of his best friends. Up until the marriage problems that I had earlier I would only see him a couple times a year, but since he was one that I turned to for a shoulder to cry on we talk several times a week. He even joked with me after things turned around with my H and I he was starting to feel a little left out because I was not calling him all the time with problems or just to vent about the stuipd things that H was doing at the time, heck I even do that now. I would say that we have become best friends. I do try to get my H to go out with us when ever possible so its not like I am trying to keep anything a secret from my H.
Now the problem with this is there are some mutual feelings. While I was having problems with my H and confideing in my friend, the thought did cross my mind, hey he would not be a bad guy to date but it was just that a thought, I never told him that until Saturday night. I would not say that I am in love with him that way, I love him as a friend. We did kiss but that was as far as it went. We talked ALOT about how he felt and how I was feeling now that I know. He bascially told me that he would risk life or limb for me. He is a biker and has friends in certian circles, if you know what I mean, and asked if that bothered me or not, it does not at all. He said that he will be OK with things if they would stay the same, but he would support me with whatever decision that I make. Basically if I would leave my H he would be there. I told him that I was very confussed and was not sure what to do about everything, and he was good with that. One thing that he is afraid of is that it will change what we have, a very good friendship, so he was taking a huge risk by even saying anything to me. We have talked since but neither of us have mentioned anything about Saturday night. Our conversations are the same as they were before, we talk alot about nothing. I am what you call a guys girl, like the outdoors, not afraid to get dirty, will talk about cars, sports, etc. I have always been that way. I don't want to cut him out of my life he is a very important part of it, and I to him.
Looking for any suggestions, has anybody else been in a simlar sitch.
BTW I do plan on staying with H, I worked too hard to get back with him and to have fun again with him to blow it now.
