Yes, preventive maintenance is a good, and necessary, thing. Sounds like it's time for some! So, here's some questions for you!
What actions would you like from your wife to show that she loves you? Have you ever let her know what these things are? Do you ever "catch her getting it right", letting her know that she just did something good, something that makes you feel loved?
When she asks me "what's wrong?", my answer has become "Nothing". "Nothing" is actually short for "Nothing that you would care about or feel is important".
Not good, my friend. This is a great way to build up resentment inside of you, and a sure way to make her back away from you. Takes you away from your goal of growing closer.
Also, you might be doing a bit of mind-reading here about whether or not she cares, or feel that it's important. Try not to take the choice away from her.
Has there ever been any exceptions to rule, times where you could talk to her without the great debate? Are you presenting things in a way that she thinks you're expecting her to "fix" things, or just that you want to be heard? Are they any "safe" ways to change this scenario?
Do the two of you ever talk about the good things that are going on, on a semi-regular basis? Do the two of you ever reinforce the positive behaviours that you are seeing in each other lately?
Just some food for thought, will be back later!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
