Thank you tbone for posting this thread. I have been able to relate to it and found it very encouraging. I feel like I am in no man's land right now, paused between the "spiel" and seeing my H trying to re-connect back to our relationship. Your observations about behaving differently from before when your spouse is in a "foul mood" are right on. Took me awhile to realize that and as I respond to my H differently (giving him the space and "permission" to feel the way he is feeling at the moment) it seems to allow my H some security to be his own person.
And I am realizing too that my H is the "fixer". He has perceived conversations with me where I was just giving him info and he presumed that I was asking him to "fix it". I am careful now to clarify with H that I am not asking him to "fix" anything. I think this has taken a lot of pressure off of my H to have to "perform" to his maybe unrealistic expectations of himself. Just some rambling thots here. Take care and best of luck!
