Life is good JJ. I still can't fully put it all behind me but it gets easier everyday. A big thing is how hard she is working on the R. That makes me feel very good about us. For the first time ever we are BOTH very concerned about the R and working very hard at it. I have gained a lot of strength recently. I feel more stable and confident. To be very honest, if she ever does anything even remotely similar to what she did before I would throw her out in a minute. I feel so strongly about it that I even told her this. By now you are all probably freaking out but she understands how I feel and is not proud of what she did.
It is funny that I even saw the new post because I have been staying away from here for sanity sake. Seeing the pain here brings my own back sometimes but I try to help where I can. I can't believe what some people do to their loved ones. One thing I keep seeing is how we torture ourselves by "hanging on". It seems like the sooner we can move on with our own lives the more the WA wants us. I see it in small scale at my house. If my W is in a foul mood I just do my own thing. I used to try to fix it or take the blame for it. Forget that noise. I have actually started to distance or be unavailable sometimes just to let her pursue me. It is so much easier being pursued than doing the pursuing. You all should try it sometime. I don't do it to be mean or make a point, I simply don't focus on her. Since I started doing more things for "me" our R has improved. Probably because she doesn't feel so relied upon.
I wish you all well and please remember to be strong and focus on yourself. You can't and won't fix them.
