Just a few thoughts to let you know that I haven't deserted the BB. I am like the big brother watching and wishing you all the best. I am short on time but I wanted to pass these thoughts along as I think they pertain to most of us. DON'T PUSH, DON'T ASK, DON'T PURSUE!!!!!
I started this a while ago in my R and it almost caused a backslide. I have always been very lucky in that my pushing followed my backing way off does very good things for our R. The key is the backing off. Many of you have been pushing to try and satisfy your needs for more progress. From where I am sitting it is not working. The advice I got is why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. This concept has helped my attitude greatly. I love my W but if she doesn't want me why would I want to be with her. It is a great place to be. Most times we are our own worst enemies (Rachel, read the following closely). Our short term goals tend to contradict our long term goals. Keep your vision long term. What can I do today to help my long term sitch? Z and Andy are prime examples of this in action. Don't let your "needs" today destroy your long term goals. I am as guilty of this as the next person but I am working very hard on this right now.
Our M is going very well recently but we both still have progress to make. We are building our friendship back and that is causing good things to happen. We talk more and respect is building too.
I have been watching from a distance and am seeing such similarities it is scary. We all need to work more on us and let our S find their own way. Most of us have made requests and tried to push the R forward so now sit back and see what happens. While doing that, don't "expect" anything other than the results will be better than trying to "make" them stay with you or come back to you. Good luck to all of you and don't give up the fight.
