I can no longer stand for my M

[Astimegoeson]

W is giving me subtle suggestions that She is interested in a reconciliation with me. I have very strong reservations about this for several reasons.

I've been burned in the past from her giving me hope, than dashing it and going back into the "cold chill" mode. I'm just plain tired of this behavior from her and I'm not biting on it with as much enthusiasm as I did in the past. It always seems to happen around her period. She gets very clingy, calls me up crying how lonely she is and that she needs my company. I think she uses me as a emotional hanky when she's feeling down, then tosses me to the side again once she's gotten it off her chest. It's really a twisted situation because I can't distinguish between her being lonely for me and our marriage or for OM who is in prison.

Another reason I can't trust any of her intentions is because of her behavior over my OW. She told me a long time ago to move on and I stayed faithful to her for a long period of time afterwards hoping she would change her mind. After so long, I gave up waiting and hurting over her. I truly moved on. She's the first to admit that it was her wish for me to move on, that she didn't want to hurt me. Now that this OW is in my life, she's telling me we can't get back together as long as I'm in a relationship with another W (WTF?). When I ask her if she's asking to reconcile with me, She says she doesn't know, but that it couldn't happen if I was with OW. I'm very confused over what she is telling me. I think she was thinking I should wait and not date anyone until her OM was released from prison. This is just plain wrong and I think She's trying to manipulate and/or use me. She doesn't like the ideal of me with OW, but on the other hand, she won't commit to restoring our marriage.

W is starting to notice her financial limitations and I think she's missing her previous standard of living with me. She may be starting to panic over this and this may be another reason she's taking a second look at me. In no way will I ever go back to her just to be a bank roll for her. I've told her this and said the only way I would consider reconciliation is if she had genuine feelings for me. I told her it wouldn't be fair to her or me to come back to me for the wrong reasons. I don't want to go through this pain ever again. She seemed to understand and agree with this position which confuses her even more.

I don't know if I'm loosing faith or hope, but sometimes I think once a Woman looses her love or attraction to you, that it's probably gone for good and you should just move on. I know that may sound discouraging to some LB husbands out there, but I can't help but think that's the rule rather than the exception.

Is my fear of a repeated rejection from her a valid reason to rule out a reconciliation? Am I wrong for thinking She could never love me again? Will I ever be able to move on in peace without always second guessing myself?

She wants me to break it off with the OW, but I think it's for very selfish reasons. Since I've been with OW, she's showing very strong interest in me where before she wouldn't give me the time of day. I already told OW that I couldn't commit or offer promises, but I know she would be hurt if I broke it off totally from her. I have strong doubts that if I were to do that, it would make a difference in how WAW feels about me. I don't think it's fair to OW or me to do that based on W's emotional and mental confusion.

W said she's noticed a change in me since OW and she's right. She's loosing the ability to affect my emotions and actions and I think this is starting to concern her but I can't figure out what those concerns are. Is it a control issue? Could she honestly be having second thoughts about me? Is she just afraid she will loose her emotional hanky?

It's giving me a headache trying to figure this out!!!