I've given into temptation. It's been over a year separation and 17 months of estrangement that brought me to this point. I see glimpses of emotion from time to time from my stbx, but it's like taking care of a brain dead relative. I check in on her once in a while, but she's still in that vegetative state. Nothing I say or do makes any difference. There's just nothing there in her heart, mind, or soul.
I've been dating several woman for the last 4/5 months and have really been captured by one. I've been dating her exclusively for the last month and about 5 months all together. We have ML and strangely, I don't feel guilty about it like I thought I would. I actually feel human again if that makes any sense to anyone. She knew my situation all along and never pushed me into anything. She doesn't make any demands on me and knows I still have feelings for W even with her rejection of me. She has really been an understanding friend and lover. I've never said that I love her or make promises to her and she accepts this. Our relationship is very fluid, interesting, fun, and honest. Not sure this will last long, but we're both comfortable where it's at now. No expectations from either of us. Her H left her for OW 6 years ago and moved to another State.
Anyway, I can tell the W senses her presence and influence, but hasn't said anything to me. I'm not even sure she really cares. It's just sad to me because it feels like I'm at the point of no return and She's oblivious to it. She is stuck in neutral waiting on a man who may not get out of prison for another 5 to 10 years. When/if she wakes up, it will be to late and she will have wasted so much time on something that probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run anyway. Even after all the pain, anxiety, hurt she has caused, I still feel sorry for her.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
